Yaya+Momo: 2018

Day 6:

It is so funny how fickle we can be.. Or really, it is super annoying. Okay, I am about to show you some serious ugly. I have only been in Ukraine for less than a week. I have waited and waited for Sasha and I to be together and now that we are, I should be jumping for joy, right? That is what any decent person would be doing. But you want to know what I find myself doing?? Internally complaining about the things I don't have now, or how hard life is, and I could go on, but no one likes a whiner. I realized I have the worst attitude. I want a toilet, a shower, a closet, my family to be closer, my job back, and I even miss Grocery Outlet. I was standing in our new house today (still totally under construction) and caught myself finding the things I wish were different or better. I literally wanted to slap myself. Sasha has worked endlessly to build this house and here I am just picking it apart in my head. It was then I realized that I was being such a cry baby. Yes, life took a crazy turn and has not turned out like I thought it would. I thought I would get to wear the pretty white dress I bought, have my dad walk me down the aisle, and party till the sun came up with my family and friends. I thought I would get to keep my job and have a steady income with benefits and retirement. I thought I would get to live in house and have my dog. That is not the plans God had though, at least not now. But I want to stop being the person that is filled with dread and fear and start being the person that comes to life because it is a new adventure. I know that nothing is forever and one day I will probably be back in America and wish for the life here in the village. I mean, I get to be that person that will have my kids rolling their eyes because I walked uphill in the snow around the bend just to find the outhouse. Today I read, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:12 and realized this is my goal. I want to be the person that is content, truly content in any and every situation. My aunt gave me a sign that I just hung on the wall today that says, "Faith in God includes faith in His timing." If I am going to say I have faith in God then I best be living it out. And let me tell you, I have done a very crappy job since I got here. Anyone who knows me, knows I am far from perfect, but I am sure gonna try to choose joy more and be content. Now, let me be honest, I am sure I am still going to whine a little about walking to the outhouse in the snow or the potholes in the road that add an extra hour to our trip to the store, but I really am going to try and enjoy the journey as my mom would say.